Ever look back at your life and think in retrospect why the hell did I say/do/think/go through that? If you say no, you’re lying. What inspired me to write this self-loving, no bullsh*t guide is the amount of messages I have received from young girls about the pressures of social media and fitting into a mould affecting all aspects of their life. I’ve learnt that regrets can last a lifetime and the best of us have a whole bag of them, so here’s to 10 of my biggest life lessons to help you #LIVEYOURBESTLIFE. This one is for my ladies…
1. Love every single bone, imperfection and mole on your body
We live in a world where a size 2 no longer represents a starving child but a model at the peak of her modelling career. We live in a world where the ‘let’s shit on people today’ queue spirals all the way to the Gold Coast in Australia and back. We also live in a world where girls and women have replaced microscropes for rationale and scrutinise every inch of themselves. If this is you, take 2 weeks off all social media and find yourself no longer in the hot seat because 99.99% you’re being too harsh on yourself. One of my biggest pet peeves is women failing to empower one another. Look, if youre that woman that criticises your friend before even saying hello, press escape now and remove yourself from this page. We do not need that sort of negativity here! Just remember some women need validation and others do not, and that is okay. But, do not under any circumstance be that women who takes to social media to speak ill of other women or criticises with the intention to uplift yourself. You simply doing that positions you on a weaker stage.
2. Be selfish with your time in your prime
These are your years to achieve your dreams so be sure to set 5 year plans. It’s said that your 20’s are the best you’re EVER going to be; you’ll have goals, you’re full of energy and have survived the teen identity crisis phase and finally found yourself. Whatever stage you are in your life, be aware that time is of the essence so don’t waste it because you’ll regret it in years to come. This may mean sacrificing a brunch for a business meeting and feeling really shitty about it – just remember the bigger picture. With an end goal in mind, put the resources in place to achieve. If you haven’t got this figured, get a mentor. If you don’t have the capital for a business investment, work two jobs to gain it. Most importantly, work quietly and let success make the noise; celebrate only when you have a reason to.
2. Don’t rush to settle down, boys are not everything!
This is a controversial one because its a life choice. However, from what I have seen, I have no other choice but to put it out there. I’ve seen too many young girls focusing on boys/men way too young. I recognise the need for companionship, but truth is men will always be there. Don’t let someone suppress your character before it’s even formed, someone dictate your life plans before you’ve even had a chance to think about them and don’t corner yourself – choose your own destiny darling. Stand up for what you want and put yourself first. In the case that you are thinking about settling down, don’t settle for a man that cannot hold it down for you, think long and hard about the ideals you’ll need in a long term partner and always be picky…if you don’t know your worth, who will?
3. Travel the globe
I have learnt so much about myself through both travelling alone and with friends and family. I’ve opened my mind, body and soul to different cultures, languages and ways of life. I have become the person I am today because of these influences and I’m truly thankful for the global village we live in today that has allowed for this to happen – take advantage of it.
4. But, dedicate time for family and friends – it’ll never come back and you’ll regret it.
Throughout my travels, I always ensure that I dedicate time to my nearest and dearest. My grandma died 3 years ago and while I made time to water the tight bond we grew, I wish I could make up for lost time when I was away in Miami for a year. Everyone has regrets with loved ones that they have lost, but in the world we live in with cutting edge technology, there is no excuse not to pick up the phone and have a good ol’ FaceTime call.
5. Your money looks better in the bank than on your feet
I’ve come from humble beginnings and appreciate the value of money. While I’m all for designer labels and the finer things in life, if you have to choose between a Gucci handbag or paying your phone bill without dipping into your overdraft, you know which one to choose. Instagram and other social media channels puts a paramount pressure on young adults to look a certain way and wear a certain brand at all times! We all know this is unrealistic. Why? Because we are all human. Even your biggest girl crush on Instagram has no makeup, greasy hair up, eating bad days. So don’t get sucked into the culture where you are compelled to look perfect at all times. Believe in your slay, whatever that slay may be.
6. Take risks and stay spontaneous
You never know what you love nor hate until you try something new. A micro example of this is my sister @Aneesasharif who always claimed to hate sushi without ever having tried it. She simply made the assumption based on its appearance. I forced her to try it in Sushi Samba on my 21st birthday in Vegas and since then…well Wednesday night is her sushi night. Perhaps a better example was when I made the decision to not become a lawyer a day before enrolling in the 3rd best university for Law in London. I thought I had it all figured – I did a pupillage with a top barrister, studied it at A level and then suddenly decided being a lawyer wouldn’t make me happy. Go with your gut, if it doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t – act on that inner voice. Some of my greatest memories like Vegas have been due to my hatred of meticulous planning so try to be flexible and open to people, places and events and make lifelong memories! A good friend asked me once what would make me happier – an £800 Canada Goose Jacket or two tickets to Dubai, and of course I chose the trip of a lifetime!
7. Don’t let anyone put you on a pedestal
They’ll push you off when it suits them and then…you’re really screwed. Don’t become accustomed to a life you can’t maintain, a favour you can’t repay and a hella expensive bag you can’t match with the same amount of cash inside. It’s simple – graft until you can achieve all your hopes and dreams without a single person claiming the rewards for your success – it’s bittersweet otherwise.
8. Don’t hold grudges, it’s a waste of energy
I’m a lover, not a hater.  Remember there is nothing more self destructive than to hold on to the hatred of an old flame doing you wrong, a brideziller that was once your best friend that never quite left that zone or a boss that gave the promotion to a colleague that does half the work at double the time. Granted, it’s going to happen. We live in a world that is full of some bad people, but for those minor blips try hone in some inner magic and smile at those that won’t expect it from you…if anything, it’ll make them burn that little bit more.
9. Be unapologetically YOU
Do whatever makes you happy, when it makes you happy…for no other reason but you. Be unapologetic in your pursuit of happiness as long it is not hurting anyone. If you get anything from this post it’s for you to champion whatever you represent…the diversity that you uphold, and the values you stand for. For god’s sake, imagine how boring the world would be if everyone looked, thought and acted in the exact same way – let’s value difference.
10. Its all about gratitude
The more you give, the more you get. I’m thankful for life, the lessons I’ve learnt along the way, and the sleep I’m about to get haha. I sincerely hope that this blog has helped some of you ladies on your road to becoming kick-ass independent women. Goodnight world. It’s 3am – let’s get the eyepatch on.
HS xo
04/03/2018
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